Peter's Cross Station

Identification and Identity

When we were in our pre-adoption stage (pre-Nat), we had to take an extraordinarily silly--maybe even harmful--course via telephone conference that was supposed to teach white people about parenting children of color (it was mostly white parents/Black children, but there were a few other race mixes too).  

but its silliness and possible harmfulness aside, I remember one of the women in the course telling us about something that was distressing her, that had prompted her to take the course voluntarily, as she was already raising two Black children.  What she said had upset her was that her 4-year old daughter had told her she wished she had pale skin and straight hair--like her mommy.

I remember telling the woman that I thought it was pretty normal for a child of that age to identify with her primary caregiver (this woman was a single mom too--so very, very primary) and that what she had was a teachable moment to start expressing ideas about race and family and identification overtly to her children and create for them a comfort level in discussing those things.  Freaking out might be her first impulse, but she ought to take a deep breath and start talking nonjudgmentally to the kids about their feelings about looking different from their mother.

The I made a mental note not to freak out, myself when the same thing inevitably happened to me.

Now, mind you, I am not suggesting that something like that never will happen to me, and I promise not to freak out (too much) when/if it does.

But I was one deeply pleased mama last week when Nat drew a spontaneous portrait of her family, featuring Mama Shannon with curly hair and something that looks to me like crosses, sticking out all over my head.  When asked to describe this picture of me, Nat explained that the crosses were my braids.

Nat has never seen me wearing any braids at all in my hair, mind you.  I have at various times in my life braided my hair (in one, single, pathetically thin braid) but not lately.  But when I saw that Nat had fantasized me to look like her, rather than wishing she looked like me, I must admit it gave my heart a little thrill.

Here's the picture, for those of you who missed it on FaceBook:

Best Adoption Blog

What if the first thing you found when you started thinking about adoption had been Dawn's blog? Pretty great place to get the low-down on the reality of adoption, hmm?

The Bump, most mainstream of all streams has a nomination for This Woman's Work to win Best Adoption Blog on their site.  Please go vote for Dawn.  Just think about the power being made available here, to shift the conventional wisdom about adoption.

So go, vote without delay!  You can vote more than once, too.

Acorn Squash Soup

Too good to forget how I made this one:

1 Acorn squash

2 yellow onions

6ish garlic cloves

2 cups of broth (chicken this time, but you can use veggie)

rosemary

salt and pepper

Cut the acorn squash in half and scoop out the seeds.  Place it cut side down on a baking sheet and roast on about 400 (F) for about an hour

Quarter the onions and peel the garlic.  Toss in olive oil and salt (I used coarse sea salt).  Spread on a baking pan and roast on about 400 (F) for about 20 minutes.

Bring the broth plus an additional cup of water to boil.  Scoop the roasted flesh from the acorn squash skin and toss it in the pot of broth.  Toss in, likewise, the roasted onions and garlic.  Add a branch of fresh rosemary and some salt and pepper.

Simmer for about 20 minutes.  Remove the rosemary and puree the soup.  (I used my trusty immersion blender.)

Yum!

New BlogHer Post

Do you argue in front of the kids?  We do and we think it's a good idea.  You?

Housekeeping: Crockpot Edition

I used to cook dinner from about 4 to roughly 4:30.  Sometimes it was 4:15 or 4:30 to 4:45 or 5.  But the upshot is, my family is hungry by 4:30 or 5 and I spend about half an hour cooking.

But now, Nat is in school from 1:30-4:30 and we don't get home until about 5.  I spend her school hours near school, writing, while Selina is hanging with the babysitter.  Or, on days I don't have a babysitter, I spend the time at home with Selina until 4ish, then put her in the car to go pick up Nat.  Either way, though, cooking dinner doesn't fit into the new plan at all.  Not the way it always has in the past.

So we've been eating a lot of crap lately.  The kids will get frozen pizzas and mac and cheese from the babysitter and I will eat a plate of nachos after they're in bed.  When Cole is home, we've been mostly eating out.

I've been trying to figure out how to solve the dilemma of dinner.  One idea is to make a big soup or stew once a week.  Now that it is soup weather again, this should help.  I can make the soup before school and we can eat it later and it will not only be good but better than it would have been hot off the stove.

Still, we can't eat soup every day.

So here's my question for the crock pot people out there:  Would that help me?  Could I toss delicious dinner ingredients into a crock pot to be ready at 5 and the serve us all a tasty dinner the minute I get Nat home from school?

Can you make things in a crock pot besides the soups and stews I'm already making?

Advice, recipes, crockpot manufacturer preferences welcome--yea, encouraged!

So Much for That Idea

6:00 am

My bedroom door opens

Nat:

Look Mama Shannon!  I got your note!  It says "Please leave my door closed so I can sleep a little longer.  Please be nice to Selina and play quietly for a while!"

See?  See the note?  I got your note, Mama Shannon!  Look at the note!

New Gig

I am now officially a contributing editor at BlogHer.com.  Looks to be fun.  Here's my first post over there, (on finding balance).