Karen's latest post on strangers' interest in her family has tweaked me into mentioning something I've been thinking for a while and been meaning to tell you folks. See, I have a new theory (new to me, anyway, I imagine adoption veterans already know this).
There are two kinds of people in the world: those who are able to "get" adoption and those who aren't.
The people who are able to get adoption, don't necessarily get it now. But these are folks it's worth trying Karen's "B" strategy with. Then there are people who just don't get it and never will. It has been hard for me--inveterate teacher that I am--to accept that, but it's a fact. There are people incapable of getting it, because they don't really want to get it and don't think it will ever apply to them and just plain don't care. They are more interested in hysterical portrayals of adoption in the media and gossipy stories about adoption-gone-bad than they are about anything in reality and That. Is. That.
And if you can sniff them out quickly enough, they are perfect for Karen's A strategy or sometimes C, depending on the safety level of the environment. Just, whatever you do, don't waste your precious energy worrying about what they think.
And that is my theory. I think every adoptive parent will do well to accept the truth of this as soon as possible, and then start honing the radar for picking up on what huge sweeping category the stranger in line at the grocery store falls into as quickly as possible. That's what I'm starting to get to these days. But I have to admit, I still get shell-shocked pretty often when people say rude things.
And that's my assvice to the Internets for the month.
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Book list TK, asap. It's a lot of work, but I will get it up here.
