Fees and Sleaze and Other Adoption Yuckiness

Wendy asks me to comment about adoption costs.

People do ask this a lot so it seems worthy enough of comment. It seems like when I talk to people about adoption they fall into two categories: 1) people who assume it's free to adopt because adoption is such an altruistic, humanitarian act (ha) 2) people who assume it's really expensive to adopt because they heard about someone who had to mortgage their house to do it.

Before I go on about it, here's a handy link to sample adoption budgets at Adoptive Families Magazine, and here are the results of their 2005 survey of real adoption costs.

Basically, heck no, Wendy. Adoption doesn't have to cost $30K. To answer Wendy's questions about what we did, we used a non-profit agency that keeps their costs as close to the federal tax credit for adoption as possible. If you are able to use the agency's services for everything, you will probably break even post-tax-refund. We had to pay a little extra for our homestudy and for our lawyer and I don't mind telling you that for Nat's adoption we were out by maybe $3,000 post-tax-credit. For Selina's it will probably be less since we already had a home study (and the tax credit is going up a bit every year).

We got what those of us in the adoption club sometimes cynically call "bargain babies" because not only are our children not white, they are in fact, Black. Many agencies have one fee structure for white newborns, another (slightly lower) for non-Black children of any non-white or mixed races, and yet another (bargain basement!) for children who are African American or African American mixed with any other race(s). Often enough they have adoptive parent qualifications that slide downward with this fee schedule too--if you consider older, married a shorter time, or single to be "downward." In our case being queer added to the mix because our agency (which works exclusively with mothers of children who are Black or Black+ any-other-race-mixed) is one of the most open-to-queers agencies in the country. My People all over the USA and in Canada and Europe have adopted babies from our agency. So our bargain babies got bargain parents too (lower age limit 21, no upper age limit, no marital requirements, no family size restrictions, tight budgets welcome, queers accepted).

The $30K+ adoptions out there are either international with big travel requirements or domestic white newborns I'm going to bet you.

Sometimes they say that the brown and black babies are cheaper because they are subsidized by various hard-to-place kid programs. That's true of the agency that did our homestudy. You can adopt a child through them for free if you take one who is hard-to-place and that can mean Black, over the age of two or with various types of disabilities. The agency has a fund for this. But the agency is still non-profit.

It's also true and don't let anyone tell you otherwise--that for-profit adoption professionals like some lawyers and (most) adoption "facilitators" will basically price a baby at whatever they think some desperate hopeful parent will and can pay. (See my exchange with such sleaze at the bottom of this post.)

And now I will take this opportunity to declare my absolute opposition to all for-profit adoption work as well as "sliding scale" fees for children such as my own. If our agency can do adoptions for under the tax credit, so could an agency placing white babies. If another agency wants to charge more for some adoptions to subsidize some others, let them base this on prospective parents' income, not on race. This "we have to charge less for Black babies because Black parents can't afford to adopt" is a dumb and unneccesary way to deal with the issue. I'm fine with rich people subsidizing adoption for less rich people. There's no need to base it on race.

Comments

[Lori]

Thanks for the great post.

For anyone considering adoption please don`t assume it is always expensive. Research, research, research. There ARE agencies that try to make it affordable. I hate to see anyone assume they can never adopt because of cost.

[Mrs.A (Terry)]

You're correct about the more expensive adoptions being the international ones.

(Not that I needed to tell you you're correct)!

We have family who adopted a 3 year-old from an orphanage in Siberia four years ago. It WAS hugely expensive (though I don't know the exact cost) and my brother-in-law and sister-in-law just have a middle class income (relying on loans and the generosity of other family to help them fund this first adoption).

The amount the adoption cost has never entered into the equation for them. When you talk about it with them, they feel so strongly that this was the route they were meant to go and Robert was absolutely the child meant for them. The cost and whatever else went with finding him was just accepted as part of their journey.

Of course, not saying everyone has this same experience. For some, cost would be too prohibitive, or something else wouldn't work for them. Which is why I think everyone is led down a different path when building a family, perhaps moreso in adoption. I think it's so cool that you & Cole have been guided to your girls they way you have while the doors opened so differently for my in-laws while someone else's journey will lead him/her to the child(ren) meant for him/her.

[Rosemary]

I'm so glad you wrote about this. The agency I have chosen has this "less expensive" category for babies who are African-American, and the more expensive category is, well, everyone else. And, I just find myself horrified every time I discuss it with someone--that there are babies who are considered less adoptable (bargain babies) because they are black, who are considered cheap, because they are black. What child is cheap? What life is cheap?

[Lisa V]

I always encourage people to look for a non-profit agency. I think ethically, they may have a better perspective- their job doesn't rely on the number of adoptions they facilitate to the extent for profits do.
The agency we used for Mal had a $400 homestudy fee, $2000 placement fee - regardless of race, health, age, etc of child. Then the adoptive parents are expected to pay all medical costs of the first mom, plus her legal costs. Our agency makes sure a first mom has an attorney represent her at TPR.

Our total cost was $6000. This was before the days of tax credits. I understand today our agency estimates total cost to be $9000 to 12,000. Then you get the tax credit. Not out of reach for most families. They let you make payments over a year if needed.

Our state does not allow any payments for first mothers (rent, living expenses, etc.), so it's pretty cut and dried.

[Allie]

Oh, goodness, this has all shocked me big time! In the UK things don't work like this. International adoption involves a lot of expense, I know, but adopting a child from the UK doesn't involve money changing hands. I guess this is maybe because it is all state regulated and funded, nationally, as part of our social services system. There are agencies but they work within this framework and are charities. There are *very* few babies available for adoption in this country these days.

[Allie]

My last sentence wasn't really related to the rest of my comment, sorry.

I was going to go on to say that I suspect that adoption in this country is very different in lots of ways because of our National Health Service and (by US standards) generous social benefits. For example, single mothers in this country get housed and given benefit until their child is sixteen. The govt is about to start cutting that, though.

[Nicole]

Wow, it really makes you think. To us, a kid was a kid. But to pay more because of their skin color... lovely.

[Sheri Bheri]

I read a story about this in the newspaper that really stuck with me.

It was about how Canadian families are adopting more and more Black BOYS from the U.S. The parents said that is was cheaper and faster, and they didn't care about the race or the gender - they just wanted a baby.

One of the reasons that the birth mothers chose the Canadian families is because of the perception that there is less racism in Canada. The truth of it was that one of the boys asked his Dad when he would "turn white", because he had never seen an adult black man. Nice eh?

[Sara]

Unfortunately, the tax credit only helps people who are in a situation where their tax liability is substantial. This may be the majority of adoptive families, but certainly not all. So, as usual, the families that need help the most get the least.

[Wendy]

Shannon, thanks for shedding more light on the costs of adoption. It is sickening to think that a white baby costs more and that Black babies are "cheaper". Yuck. The truth is, I'm not sure that transracial adoption is right for our family, given where we live, our families of origin, etc. It seems like white people get knocked for wanting to adopt a white baby but they also get knocked for not doing enough if they adopt a child transracially(rightly so, I think). If I adopt transracially, I want to do it well. And I'm not sure that my husband and I have it in us to do it the way I think it should be done. So that leaves us looking for a white child, not because I think white children are more desirable, but because I don't think my circumstances are right for TRA.

Also, my understanding is that the bulk of adoption costs come from paying for the first mom's medical care, as Medicaid often won't cover her. Is this incorrect?

And if white babies are more expensive, who is getting that money? The agency?

[Lucia Moreno]

Here in Spain there are almost no kids available for adoption, for the same reasons as in the UK, I think. Families who are not able to care for their children because of money, get money, free housing, etc. and if there are other reasons then the social services usually go for foster care.
This said, we do have "bargain babies", too, but not for race, but for disease and disability. My soon to be wife and I are doing paper work to adopt a child with a disability. Domestic adoption is Spain is always 100% free, but this kid will be a "bargain" because we won't have to wait the 3+ years people are waiting to adopt a healthy child domestically. We'll just have one as soon as we want.
The kid's getting a "bargain" family, too (at least by US standards, but not by spanish standards, since we have same sex marriage and almost equal rights in Spain), because we are a lesbian led household and our daugther (also adopted) has a small diasility.
"Bargain" people of the world, unite :)
Hugs
Lucia

[Rebecca]

Public policy is the problem. It is astounding that we allow for-profit and not-for-profit organizations to charge anything at all while at the same time we fill (and fund) a backward foster care system. Society should pay. Probably it would net out over the long run.