One reason I don't feel comfortable blogging much about the details of Rose's life (that we know about) is because we don't have the kind of regular contact with her that we'd originally hoped to have. So I can't talk to her about how she feels about appearing on my blog and so I keep it to a minimum.
One of the reasons I get so filled with firey angst when I read about open adoption ethics and reform is because I think a lot of factors way, way before and beyond personal desire, will, morality etc. contribute to the level of contact we have. There are structural reasons why Rose is less able (perhaps willing, but I can't say, because I dont' know) to be more open with us than a middle-class first mom might be. I want to address those things, because Rose is my family, and that's where she lives--stuck in those structural traps.
Those of you in certain academic fields will appreciate it when I tell you that this experience has convinced me that no, Gayatri Spivak, the subaltern cannot speak. And now I constantly teeter on the decision line of whether or not to try to "speak for" her. Even as I know I can't. Should I try? And how?
Now, since I have finally come clean to you all about this, please have a look at Dawn's wonderful new(ish) site all about open adoption. I haven't linked it here before, because I have an essay there I didn't want everyone to necessarily read. It's okay now. Go ahead and read it. You have my blessing! And if you are in an open adoption, would like to be in an open adoption or have anything insightful to say about open adoption, please go register on the site and contribute your wisdom, your experience, your visions, etc.