Fine, You Got Me

I really need to be zipping through my last-minute packing list but for the Common Good, I will give you a moment of my time. I’m all about the Common Good, folks.

But you already know that if you’ve been reading this blog for more than ten minutes.

And knowing that, as you do, why oh why oh why do you—and everyone else I mention home schooling to, who is not herself a home schooler—assume a thousand stereotypes about why I, or anyone, for that matter want to home school and what it will mean for my participation in civic life including the movement for better public schools?

Why do I have to have a child in the public school system to be an advocate for better schools? At the ripe old age of 12 I learned better than this when my parents came out in strong opposition to tax breaks for the parents of privately schooled children. Their children, mind you, were privately schooled. But, seeing the big picture as they did, they knew that the reason their kids were privately schooled was because the public schools were underfunded, badly administrated and abandoned by everyone who could scrape two nickels together and choose the cheapest of the private options as they had done. They’d far rather have had a good public school option and they were willing to work to give better schools to those kids whose parents couldn’t manage private schools on any budget. They saw good public schools as in everyone’s best interest—those with kids attending them, those with kids in other schools, those without any kids at all—and they were right.

I have been an advocate for good public schools my entire adult life. I spent the time I worked in public schools getting myself into all kinds of trouble stirring things up to get better computers, improved curriculum in my department, making my room a safe place for kids of all kinds (especially “gang” members, queer youth and teen moms). I helped kids get into college who were the first in their families to make it past the 12th grade—sometimes, with babies in tow. I fed my students out of my own pocket, never mind providing them with supplies and free books by the box-load sent by my father.

And I didn’t even have a child then, in any kind of school.

Now I teach in the online program of an open university. That means anyone who graduated from a high school in the state can attend. Anyone. It’s a vision of education I am deeply committed to. My students are mostly working Black women with kids and often partners and they are taking classes part-time.

I have only taught two classes so far, but am already getting involved in curriculum changes to improve the quality of education for folks who can’t afford to take time off, let alone pay for a “traditional” college education.

I am not home schooling to shelter Nat from anything (okay—maybe from that creationism crap mentioned by Amy—though given my religious education, Nat will definitely learn about creationism from me, in proper context, as a religious idea some people hold). In fact, I think we can give her a much more diverse experience of people and ideas than any school—the very best private one, to the very most ethnically diverse public one. I believe the education I can give her will best prepare her to contribute to the common good when she is grown and certainly our family’s ethics will keep her constantly aware of how and why she ought to be engaging the larger world.

In fact, the capitalist values emphasized by public schools quite often teach against engaging the world for the common good. I remember when my 11th grade English class was cancelled so the entire student body could attend a “Prom Fashions” show in the auditorium, in which girls in the school modeled $1000.+ dresses from a local boutique a month before prom. That was in the “good” public school near Princeton.

As for qualifications to teach Nat, I think between Cole’s and my three PhDs, both of our K-12 teaching certifications, my master’s degree in education and the fact that we are surrounded by university professors, we’ve got her covered.

If you don’t home school, that’s fine with me. You have your strongly held beliefs about why you want to do whatever it is you’re doing. But don’t base your choice to do it a certain way on your misinformed stereotypes about why others make different decisions.

And don’t tell me I’m atypical either, because people who home school have widely differing reasons and experiences and philosophies. There is no typical home schooler. The idea that there is comes from stereotypes just like ideas about typical queers, typical Black people, typical Muslims, typical women etc. etc. etc. come from stereotypes.

If you aren’t sure, ask. Don’t pounce with your assumptions.

Now I really need to pack.

Comments

[alchemist]

Well said! If you get tired of explaining you can always go the sarcastic route and say "well, we're raising her gay, and our attempts to get that added to the public school curriculum haven't succeeded yet." ;)

[Lisa]

Crap! I feel like I set you up for that with my homeschool request. Now I know what not to write about on my blog. At least not yet.

I don't have all yours and Cole's Ph.D's, but I have a Masters in ed, a teaching certificate and have also worked in the public schools. I support the public schools and know for a fact there are good teachers and programs out there. There's just not enough. I will continue to support the public schools.

However, most likely (will decide for sure at the time) my kids will also be homeschooled. In my months and months of research on the subject, it became not so much because PS were so BAD, but rather because the opportunities in homeschooling are so GOOD. It is absolutely amazing the wealth of creative educational opportunities that are available when you homeschool. Of course there is a wide variety of ways to do it, but in my hometown...the amount of secular homeschooling opportunities for socialization and education are enormous. Every single study I've come across about homeschooled kids has shown that they outperform their PS counterparts in every area. They are going into some of the "best" colleges and getting some of the "best" interning opportunities. It is amazing what I have found in that world. The variety of children and families who homeschool is unbelievable, and the ways in which they are homeschooling are creative and unique and for the most part, very successful.

I understand that everyone is not in the position to homeschool, nor wants to and that is fine. I think that we still need strong PS. But I do think that those that have such a kneejerk reaction to homeschooling are mostly just loaded with myths and misconceptions about it. It isn't sitting alone at home at the kitchen table all day reading the Bible, people! There is so much more opportunity there. My local homeschooling association has a bigger social/athletic/academic/event calender than any high school I know of. I really think the anti-homeschoolers just don't have a good idea about what it really is.

Okay, so I wrote all that here because I'm too wimpy to write it on my own blog. (I will at some point, I'm sure.) But suffice to say, I am another person who supports improvement in the public school system who will also probably homeschool. There are many more of us than people may realize.

[christina]

Go mama! So. Well. Said.

[Susan]

My partner and I are planning to homeschool for many of the reasons you've given. If you haven't already read Gordon Neufeld's book _Hold On To Your Kids_, you might enjoy it.

[Tam]

I'm sorry, but as an ex-homeschooler, I really do think that you are atypical. I don't know another set of homeschooling parents with three PhDs between them, for starters. On the other hand, I have seen quite a few parents, some who hadn't graduated from high school, who were struggling to 'keep just ahead in the book'.

When I saw the teen movie 'Mean Girls', I did laugh at those first two stereotypes of homeschoolers - the bespectacled kid excitedly reciting at the spelling bee, and the hay-chewing kids chanting about how God created guns so they could shoot the dinosaurs. I laughed because there was more than a grain of truth in there, and if you threw in a granola-eating 'I'm unschooled to encourage my Indigo child creativity' kid in there, you would have nearly all the homeschooled kids I knew as a child or met later as an adult more or less encompassed within those three categories. I'm willing to believe that nowadays a more diverse group of parents is choosing the homeschooling option, but when I was a kid..? Eh.

I'm not saying that homeschooling is a terrible idea, but I do think it's not a great idea for most families (for starters, I simply don't believe that most parents are natural teachers, and nor do I believe that it's a good idea that children should only be exposed to their family's belief system. See Lynx and Lamb Gaede for an example of why some homeschooled children REALLY need to go to public school.) My reasons for believing this are not based on 'myths and misconceptions', but on my personal experiences as a homeschooled child, raised socialising with other homeschooled children. I've seen a lot of idealistic, passionate parents, and then I've seen rather a lot of their kids grow up as rather less-than-passionate about the whole thing.

I'm not trying to rain on your parade here, but I do think that it's rather unfair to dismiss all criticisms so glibly. Do I think that you and Cole, with your wealth of educational experience, the privileges that accrue from this experience, and your ethical views will do a fine job of homeschooling? Sure. Do I think that the vast majority of homeschooling parents lack your abilities? Uh, yeah.

[Meira]

You should also mention that statistically:
1. The level of the homeschooling parent's education has not been shown effect the homeschooled child's progress/performance. So my kids, raised in a Ph.D lacking household (lol) are just as likely to do well as Nat.
2. Homeschooled kids are more likely to be involved in political/community activism.

[Karin]

This is why most of our blog posts are private. I have enough to do without having to re-explain myself. :)

I get you. Exactly. Public schools in our area are "pretty good" and still super-duper scary. We'd love to send our kids to The Free School, but we're not 100% onboard with how they work, either. The Montessori school would require a major scholarship, which is not unlikely, but I grew up in a school system with a lot of upper-middle class kids (when I was NOT) and so sending my kids to a private school doesn't appeal to me in that sense.

Homeschooling would be great. If we could afford it. Now we both work part-time so we can stay home with our foster kids. It's possible that we'd be able to continue that schedule and each do half of the "teaching", but homeschooling costs money. Even unschooling.

Because, realistically, while I think we'd do a great job educating my kids, I'm untrained. I'd need a lot of library books and reading trips to Buns & Noodles. And, cuz I'm me, a LOT of web browsing.

Sure, I'm not a trained teacher, but they're trained to teach the "average kid". I'd train myself to teach MY KID. Much more helpful. And easier.

There's nothing I wish more than for a school to pop up in the next 5 or so years that totally fits all of my qualifications for "somewhere I'd plop my kid for ~6 hours/day." I'm happy to work toward that. To work toward making all the schools fit that. But it's not going to happen, so we need to have a back-up plan, too. I'm not sacrificing my kid to the broken system (any more than I have to.)

[StacyG]

I am so jealous! I wish I could home school. I think home schooling is a fantastic way for kids to learn.

[jenn]

I read and enjoyed and learned from your initial post on homeschooling, although I am not yet a parent and also, for both practical and philosophical reasons, have no plans to homeschool the kids I plan to have. I stopped myself from responding to that post partly because you didn't seem to want feedback. I wouldn't and didn't assume that you didn't care about public schools. Your blog makes it abundantly clear that you care about educational opportunity for everyone. I do, however, assume that the parents of kids in public schools have a more obvious and pressing incentive to advocate all the time for change; that they also probably know better than almost anyone else what those specific schools' problems and strengths are at any given moment; and that therefore, if they have the time and the resources, they might make better -- more politically compelling, more focused, more motivated, more system-savvy -- advocates than parents whose kids aren't in public schools. I'd be more than happy to be proved wrong, of course. Anyway, good luck on your trip.

[art-sweet]

As an educator and an empassioned public school advocate (I went to a great one - Central Park East, google it) and as a firm respecter of you, Shannon, I'm just having a tough time with this one. (I just realized that makes it sound like I am firm: I am actually kind of jiggly. But I am firmly behind you and your family)

Do I think that opting out weakens the public schools? Yes, yes, and yes. Do I like what All Children Left Behind is doing to our schools? No, no, and no. Do I think that I learned important lessons (and painful ones as well) about social interaction and diversity in public school. Hell, yeah.

In the end, it's your decision (duh) and I'm sure that you and Cole & David & Nat will make a smart one.

[Lisa]

I would like to reiterate what Meira said about how you do not need an advanced degree in Education to homeschool. I do realize that some people may be more comfortable with teaching their children and others aren't drawn to that. But I see no problem with learning right along with your child. Also, homeschoolers usually do include bringing in tutors or taking outside classes with experts in certain areas that the parent feels less comfortable with. But teaching is not an elite skill that only Ph.D.s can aspire to. All parents teach their children, and children were almost virtually entirely homeschooled for all but the past 200 years or so. Teaching is more about providing the opportunity for your kid to learn than about personal knowledge sets. People without high school diplomas can and have done great at all kinds of teaching.

It's funny, but some homeschoolers I talk to act like my education and advanced degrees are something to be overcome in order to be a good homeschooling parent in spite of my institutionalized background.

So, you can't win for losing on this topic it seems.

[rabi]

I'm really sorry you felt attacked by the comments on your last post; it seemed like most of them were supportive and positive. since I was one of the few who responded in a critical way, let me answer your question here:

why oh why oh why do you [...] assume a thousand stereotypes about [...] what it will mean for my participation in civic life including the movement for better public schools?

(edits b/c that's what I was responding to)

my assumptions about your potential lack of involvement in public school activism were based on three things:
a) your post, which listed a number of reasons that you believe public schools are not good enough for your child (all of them good and valid reasons)
b) your post, which did not make any mention of your intentions to support or help improve public schools in your region
c) the stereotype/experience that parents tend to focus their attention on the schools that their children attend, whether those are public, private, or home schools.

also, my one-hundred-percent biased opinion is that someone who takes an asset away from the public education community -- as you certainly will by throwing your education energy in another direction, not to mention the absence of your wonderful daughter! -- has a moral obligation to make up for it in some way, on behalf of the families who are stuck with the "not good enough" system.

I am truly gratified to know that my assumptions were WRONG! just wanted to clarify where they were coming from.

[Jo in Utah]

As a homeschooling mom for 20 years, you are preaching to this choir. But I thought I would add my support about schooling your children the way you see fit. Neither homeschooling nor public schooling are evil unto themselves and we all must do what we feel suits our kids.

[Angela]

If I could ever financially afford to be a stay at home mom and not have to work for the remainder of my childrens' school years, I'd totally homeschool them. For a hundred different reasons.
I'm not afraid to admit that I wish I could shelter my kids from many things.

[afrindiemum]

ha! buns and noodle. it's dykes to watch out for!

ok. i know nothing about the subject so i cannot comment.

rock on, you, though. i don't think i'd have it in me to dedicate the amount of time, energy and planning to homeschool zade. but in our community, it wouldn't be a bad idea...

maybe i should look into it more. we've got some time, though.

hope you're having a great vacation!