It has been suggested by another resident of my home that I make the following edit to the post below this one:
The specialist was a
nice guy homophobic racist.
We just got a written report of the evaluation we took Nat to last week. Where shall I start? That it was addressed to "Ms. [Nat's Surname]" in spite of the fact that all medical records clearly list both of Nats' parents' full names? (These lesbians with adopted babies! So confusing with the names!) That it stated that Nat lives "at home with her mother and mother's partner" (Which is which!? These lesbians all look alike!)? That it cast doubts on all the positive aspects of family and medical history information obtained from Rose, by putting "apparently" in front of claims such as "the mother's other three children are healthy and intelligent" or "the mother has a post-secondary degree in computer science" but not on the negative aspects of that history (everybody knows you can only trust poor Black women when they're admitting they have Problems!)?
Concern that our family would confuse this doctor and his staff was the very reason why I wanted all of us (including David) to go to the appointment. I knew that if I walked in there by myself and tried to explain Nat's life to the doctor it would all sound like Venutian. So I figured it would be best to reinforce the concepts with visual (and aural) aids. Plus, with everyone there, a more balanced view of Nat would be possible. We could all give our perspectives on her behavior and personality.
I shudder to think what the report would have looked like if everyone hadn't been there.
In response to the report's "errors" I have taken a red pen (yes, really) and "corrected" it. I am going to send it back with a cover letter requesting that it be rewritten with the corrections and a new copy sent to me. English teacher that I am, I fixed the sentence fragments and typos too. (They were legion.)
I am a physician's worst nightmare, I know. If you are one, you'll have to forgive me.
But it was a downer, getting this report in the mail. Now we're feeling we did Nat a disservice by inviting "experts" to scour her for defects. The doctor suggests we "keep an eye on her for future problems" since she's in a "risk" category based on her poor prenatal care. It's like he was disappointed not to find anything wrong with her. He even put down the phone number for the local developmental intervention program and suggested we call them while at the same time noting that he couldn't give us an actual referral because the there's nothing wrong with Nat. Huh? So even though the report was glowing and found no problems--in fact, found that she is ahead of the curve in several areas--it is still a blemish in her "Permanent Record" with this doom-and-gloom notation.
Maybe we're being overly dramatic, but it really ticked us off. We wished we had never taken her. But of course, if we hadn't, we'd feel guilty about that too. I mean, What to Expect the Toddler Years said that if she wasn't pulling up by X time, get her evaluated. Well, I waited a bit past X time (since that book is a bit hysterical) and I did the Good Mommy Thing. Or so I thought.
Anyhow, we're feeling like we can't win either way.