So, I mentioned that Nat was sleeping through the night.
Well. Until last Sunday night, she was not. She was waking, like perfect clockwork, every four hours and taking somewhere between 2 and 3 oz of formula, then promptly going back to sleep.
When she first came home, she took 2 oz. of formula every two hours. Then it was 2.5, every 2.5 hours. Then it was 3 oz every 3 hours. (I remember that first 3-hour night. I was so thrilled! I could go to bed at 2 and expect her to sleep at least until Cole's shift began at 4.) When she hit 4 oz every 4 hours I thought soon she'd be onto 5 oz and finally 6 and then we'd all get a decent night's sleep. I thought this would certainly happen by 6 months old, since we hit that 4 oz. mark around 4 months.
I was WRONG.
Nat settled into a schedule of eating at 6 am, 10 am, 2 pm, 6 pm, 10 pm and 2 am without fail. And she stayed there. She didn't eat more. She wouldn't take more than 4.5 oz in any given feeding no matter how I begged her to do so at 10 pm.
"Feed her solids before bed" my mother, my mother-in-law, Uncle David, Aunt Nancy, the doctor and my Indie Mom bulletin board moms all said.
But no matter how big or hearty her evening meal, no matter how close to bedtime she ate it, she wanted her bottle not just at 6 (right before her 6:15 bedtime) but again at 10. And again at 2.
Then two things happened.
1. I got sick. I tried to get better but I simply could not get over it. Even though Cole gave me four days of complete bedrest and took over baby care 24 hours a day, I couldn't get better. Even thoguh I took antibiotics which technically whipped my infection, I couldn't get better. Even though I took narcotic cough syrup and took afternoon naps while Nat slept and let the house go all to hell and made Cole order in pizza, I could not get better.
2. I started to notice that at 10 and especially at 2, Nat wasn't really taking much formula. I could barely coax her to finish 2.5 oz. I thought, "this child is not going to die for want of 2 oz of formula for the next four hours."
So I decided to try and send 2 am bottle the way of the binky using a similar technique. That is, I would get up at 2 when she cried, hold her and rock her and sing to her but not feed her.
I did that on the first night and after listening to Nat cry (albeit in my loving arms) for about 30 minutes over the baby monitor back in our bedroom, Cole got up, came into Nat's room, took her from me and gave her a bottle.
The next night, I turned off the monitor before going in.
She cried much worse with me in her room than she did before I went in. It was like she accelerated her pleading since I was right there to bargain with. But I didn't feed her. I rocked her and sang (which completely quieted her until I stopped). After about an hour, (or something--who really knows) she was calm, I put her back to bed and tip-toed out the door. I reached my own bed again, and she let out a wail.
I let her cry.
I sat and bit my nails and stared at the lights on the silenced baby monitor jump all over the place, but I didn't go back into her room for the next 30 minutes.
And she went to sleep.
The next night (we'll call it night #2, since Cole forced me to abort my plan on the original first night), Nat shockingly slept until 1 am. She voluntarily slept through the 10 o'clock bottle. I got up and went in and held her and sang and when she was quiet, I put her down and once I got back to bed, she was crying again, but this time, it was over within ten minutes.
On night #3 she slept until 6 am. She then woke up, talked and laughed in her crib until 6:30 and then cried for Cole to come get her up for the day.
That's pretty much what she's been doing since. She goes to bed between 6:15 and 6:45 (depending on our schedule and whether we went out for supper) and she wakes up around 6, but plays to herself happily for at least 30 minutes (this morning it was more like an hour) before really demanding to get up for the day. We listen to her babble and chit chat and make motor boat noises over the monitor and we laugh. So we're not sleeping, but we're not rushing around just yet, either.
And I finally feel like I'm recovering from my sickness. I'm sure the iron and vitamin c supplements are helping too, but a decent night of uninterrupted sleep can't be hurting.
I have been an insomniac as long as I can remember. When I was three years old, I would lay in bed at night, listening to my parents watch t.v., then go to bed, then talk to each other in bed before they went to sleep and then I'd lay awake, staring at the ceiling and thinking about whatever three year-olds think about until I fell asleep.
I don't know why, but I just don't have that thing other people seem to have that says "time to sleep now" in my brain. If it is nature, well, I guess that's dumb luck. But if it is nurture, I am committed to helping Nat develop it at any cost. Because sleeplessness is a terrible curse. So far, she seems like an awfully talented sleeper. Even the 4 hour bottle schedule was perfectly timed and she'd go right back to sleep right after eating. And she never woke between bottles.
Now she can go down into her crib awake and play for a few minutes before going to sleep for two naps a day and bedtime. I have high hopes that she is going to be good at sleeping in the future.
And now for the ironic catch:
When I put her down at night, I feel real sorrow that I won't see her again until morning. It's a long time--more than 12 hours before Cole will bring her to me in bed with a cup of tea and we will have our little family hour before Cole goes off to work.
I miss her!