On Color Blindness

Today, Mar asked:

I'm curious about your take on this. I teach my children that people are people - black, white, rich, poor, gay, straight - and all deserve to be treated equally and fairly. If we describe someone, we don't say "the little black girl third from the end" - we just say "the little girl third from the end". I always felt that being a bit "color blind" was beneficial - but am concerned that some people would think I don't value their uniqueness - the uniqueness that comes from their ethnicity. I'd be curious, now that you are parents to black child, if you think that is wrong?

Between the continuing trickle of responses to my transracial adoption post below and a lively conversation on race an adoption over at Karen's blog, I thought I'd weigh in on some of my feelings these days.

I don't think that Mar's attitude is wrong, per se (and forgive me, Mar, I'm not picking on you, but your question works well as a generalization of the many responses I got to the post). I do think, however, that there is so much more to this issue than "people are people."

I believe that people really aren't people. I think that at least on some level, people are really, really different and experience U.S. society and culture very differently. The little black girl in the picture is perhaps, most of the time, notable indeed, because she's black. We would never hesitate to point out the single red shirt wearer in a photo of green shirt wearers as "the guy in the red shirt." So why not say "the little black girl" if that's the case?

So my question is, what makes white people pause and attempt to avoid using race as a modifier when it makes perfect sense to do so? If race were really as unimportant as shirt color, we wouldn't be afraid to notice it. That's what I meant when I said that noticing is a taboo. And I do indeed believe that the taboo, rather than successfully rendering race unimportant, reinscribes race as quite important and reinscribes white supremacy specifically. And most of all, I believe that when people strive not to notice they actually intend just the opposite; to eradicate racism, including white supremacy. And that's why I think it's worth discussing some more.

I am convinced that when most white people say "this guy came into the office today" most other white people just sort of assume the guy was white unless otherwise specified. In other words, white is the default race in the U.S. unless there's a compelling reason for it to be otherwise (for example, if the speakers and/or listeners are of different races from one another or if they are all a race that is not white). Whiteness got invented in this country, at least in large part, as a way for various European immigrants to assimilate as "normal" Americans. So an "average Joe" tends to still be a white guy unless otherwise specified (and then he's not really considered average, either).

I'm not saying white people think this through consciously. It is just the social framework, the dominant ideology, of the United States. There's a long history that made it this way, and here we are. But as a result, white people can tend to render difference invisible and thus can tend to deny differences that really do matter in people's lives. And like I said, if we don't talk about these differences and the unfair ways they affect us, those unfair things will go on, unchecked.

Sometimes I can compare it to gender a bit. At church, I always say "She" when pronouns for God come up. I go to a nice, liberal church and most of the folks in the pews with me choose to change patriarchal God language too. But most people, rather than saying "She," repeat "God" or rearrange the sentence to avoid pronouns. But I never feel like my feminine sense of God is really present unless I state it specifically. Because in the gender-"empty" space of "God" the whole history of Western Christianity pours in to supply a shadow image of an old man with a white beard. And others seem to share this experience, because often, people sitting near me comment on how exciting it was to overhear me invoking a feminine idea of God. It's a vision they never had before, a vision the "gender-neutral" language couldn't provide.

Black is good. Black is beautiful. Black is smart and strong and special and has a proud history. Black is unfairly represented and unequally supported and unappreciated by U.S. society much of the time. Black is real. Nat is Black and she needs and deserves to know about that and learn how to be proud of it and how to deal with the difficulties that might arise because of it. But she needs to know it before she can learn anything about what it means for her, just like she needs to know she's female and the difference that will make in her life.

Id rather have someone stick her foot in her mouth and ask a dumb but well-intentioned question than notice and pretend not to.

I have a lot more to say about this. But Ill take a break. What do you think so far?

Comments

[joylynn]

Colorblind is a concept that only my white friends propose, and it is usually the ones most uncomfortable with race. I am starting to think that your blog should be required reading....

[beckster]

I am so glad you are posting on this subject and on the thread on Karen's blog. This is an issue that my husband and I keep revisiting. We are planning to adopt from Ethiopia. We are white, our children will be black. We don't revisit the issue because of the race issue. We revisit because of the Ethiopia vs. domestic issue. Reading the article that Karen referenced made me question our decision again. I have to ponder that for awhile.
I hate it when I hear white people say, I don't even see color. Or they wouldn't care if their children had purple polka dots. I would hope they would see their child as black Americans and be prepared for what that means in our society. And for goodness sake get the polka dotted kids to the dermatologist!
We are extremely lucky because our immediate family is very racially diverse. Our kids will not be a minority in their own generation of the family.
This is not a compromise, or a last choice situation for us. When we read about the children of Ethiopia, we just knew that was where our kids were.
Ok- off to ponder.

[Rachae]

I am biracial and it really, really annoys me when people adopt the 'colorblind' stance (I do, however, appreciate it when people like Mar ask questions about these things). To me, colorblind frequently reads as "I think I'm doing you a favor by not acknowledging that you're not white" and reeks of racial discomfort. Again, though, I'm glad that Mar posed the question and that you posted such a great answer!

[Holly]

Is color blindenss just a point on the pendulum? And at least it is a point on the positive side of the swing? It was a great starting point for my parents, and one for which I was grateful.

Someone commented on Karen's blog that they (an educator) thought a parent was expecting the color difference to be noticed. I guess that is me sometimes because I like to get everything out and discussed and to confront any prejudices head-on. And in the absence of problems, I like the forum open to celebrate the complete preciousness of my children.

[sster]

I wonder if what the term "colorblind" is a signpost for--accepting the essential humanity of everyone, regardless of color (in the most generous interpretation--is an essential first step in understanding and dealing with race. But becoming fixed in that stage and unwilling to accept difference as well is where I think the problem lies. It amounts to saying something like, "You, who are just like me, are not just like me." I think the first is easy to say, and requires very little personal struggle. But saying the second while keeping the first in mind is mental work a lot of people just aren't willing to do.

[Wendryn]

I was raised in East Oakland, where most people are not white. I'm white. I'm not colorblind. It's funny - a couple of us were talking about this recently, and came to the conclusion that being "colorblind" actually seems to allow another person less humanity in some ways. It is an inability to accept that race is a difference that is actually ok. I have been around people of other races all my life, although not so much now because we live in a predominantly white city and area, and I don't see the point of being colorblind. Being colorblind means that you can't describe a person fully - color of skin usually implies a certain heritage, and ignoring skin color seems almost like people are tiptoeing around and saying, "Well, you know, the past doesn't matter, everything's perfect, and we're all just people." Yes, we are just people, but saying "the Jewish guy" is ok and saying "the black guy" isn't doesn't make sense to me.

I'm sorry, that was a bit disconnected - it's a bit early. People are people, but skin color should be an acceptable part of a description, in my opinion.

[Yatima]

I'm actually hugely relieved at this post because I did this on Sunday morning, talking to a friend: "R and C have moved to town... Yes, you've met them, the dorky white guy and the beautiful black woman." I instantly doubted myself, but the fact is that if I'd just said "beautiful woman" my friend would almost certainly have pictured a white woman; as it was, he knew exactly who I was talking about.

I'm Australian, living in San Francisco, so the race issue is very foreign to me (white Australians and Australian aboriginal people have our own very tortured, but separate set of issues). I sometimes deal with this by just asking flat out - "You guys drove across Dakota? Didn't people look at you funny?" No one seems to mind, but my accent gives me non-American privilege to ask idiotic questions. I wonder how I'd tackle it if I had been born here.

[Yvette]

Great, great post.

When folks say to me (an African American woman) something along the lines of what Tom Cruise reportedly said recently "I don't raise my child as someone from the Black race, but as part of the human race" I always say "And to be 'human' you have to not be Black?"

[luolin]

I don't remember being taught it, but looking back, in high school and college, I thought that color-blind was just the proper way to deal with race. Your post made me wonder when that changed for me.

Looking back, I think it was the combination of living a few years in a place where as a white person I was in the minority (5% of population), but it was a privileged minority (same race as the colonizers) and then coming back to the US for graduate school, where the color-blind attitude was not at all how most of my friends and profs who were people of color were dealing with racial issues.

[Lisa C.]

I remember when in high school I had many black friends, but was confused on whether black people preferred to be called black or African-American. I asked one of my black friends, but she couldn't help me, because she was African (from Ghana) and that's what she preferred to be called.

That one conversation made me realize that not even all black people agree on a common way of having their heritage acknowleged. I mean no disrespect when I refer to non-white people by generic identifiers like shirt color or whatever, because I don't want to offend someone who prefers to be called African (when I would have described them as black).

I am lucky because I have had a considerable number of black university professors who were not afraid to tell us how it is to be perceived as black. I now work, with many black people (out of 22 people on our shift, 10 are black (one of those being an African), 2 are Korean, 3 are hispanic, and 7 are white. All of the black people I work with are proud of their heritage, and I am learning a lot from them.

I guess my point is that I don't think people are being offensive by being 'color-blind,' they are really trying to be respectful. It may be misguided, but it is not malicious.

[Mar]

Shannon -

Thanks for addressing my question. I'm glad you took it in the spirit it was intended - a chance for a respectiful, meaningful dialogue on a subject we can all learn more about - especially me!

3 responses struck a chord with me - the first from sster who said - "I wonder if what the term "colorblind" is a signpost for--accepting the essential humanity of everyone, regardless of color (in the most generous interpretation)--as an essential first step in understanding and dealing with race."

For me personally, that response was right on. I had always looked at it as leveling the playing field in terms of humanity. However, my view from the "white" side of the fence didn't really include this thought, as posted by Rachae - "I am biracial and it really, really annoys me when people adopt the 'colorblind' stance (I do, however, appreciate it when people like Mar ask questions about these things). To me, colorblind frequently reads as "I think I'm doing you a favor by not acknowledging that you're not white" and reeks of racial discomfort." .

I am a bit embarassed to think that I hadn't really looked at it from that angle before. I came from a family that had "labels" for everyone - not in a necessarily in a mean spirited way, but still terribly prejudicial and reeking of stereotypes. Examples - the Jewish family down the street, where the father must be an accountant, the Italian family where the mother was obviously a good cook, the Irish Catholic family who had 8 kids, the black family who had 3 boys, all of whom were great athletes, of course. (Please, these are just examples of the types of labels that were thrown about in my house growing up - not my words!)

I guess in my effort to remove labels that may or may not lead to prejudice, I also was removing things that were good and vital - things to be enjoyed and celebrated.

I guess most embarassing about that above fact is that many, many (many!!) years ago, I was a birth mom, and when the baby's father and I were reviewing placement profiles, one of the reasons we picked the family we did was because the parents had a similar ethnic background as we did! So how I could eliminate from my consciousness something as important as that really appalls me!

I know 2 families who have adopted girls from China. One family celebrates their daughter's Chinese heritage - and they have included all of the children in my son's class on their journey. I've learned a tremendous amount about Chinese culture, tradition, and values from them - and I really admire they way they have embraced the blending of their families. The other family who has an adopted girl from China has gone completely the other way. They have completely immersed her into their European heritage/traditions. She's an amazing, wonderful, smart girl and one look at her with her parents and there is no doubt as to how much they adore each other. Obviously this was a conscious choice on both of their parts, and I wish I knew them well enough to ask them how they came to their respective decisions.

The third response that I identified with came from Lisa C. - "I guess my point is that I don't think people are being offensive by being 'color-blind,' they are really trying to be respectful. It may be misguided, but it is not malicious." I agree that while my approach was misguided and certainly naive, it was definitely not meant to be malicious in any way. My hometown area is somewhat ethnically diverse, but perhaps in a less "visual" sense - we have a lot of Russian, Polish, Latino and Asian families. My opportunity to connect with people who both look, sound and feel differently from me does not happen as often as I would like it to, which is why I appreciate this discussion.

Thanks for the enlightenment!

[Mar]

Darn, I hit "Post" too fast! I also wanted to ask if perhaps we are all being a bit naive by thinking that there is only one answer to this question? I mean, as much as you welcome the opportunity to tell your amazing story, there might be others out there who want to keep their story and choices to themselves. It's hard to know when just having passing, casual contact with someone in a rest area ... at least it is for me!

Thanks again for the answers - and the questions!

[trey]

GREAT post...

now, dang it, you've got me thinking about this too (have had a lot of 'deep' thoughts in my head lately)

[Rachael (previously left off the 'l' accidentally)]

Mar - I don't think it's unusual not to have considered the angle I mentioned in my previous comment - being 'colorblind' is generally regarded in society as the ideal. I also would like to commend you for asking a relatively unasked question and replying so thoughtfully. Your response was heartening. In response to your question about whether there is more than one answer to this question - I think there is. For example, context matters. In some situations I think it is appropriate not to emphasize racial differences while in others the reverse is true.

[Rachael]

Also, for anyone interested - many YWCA chapters sponsor forums and workshops on race, racism, and racial justice. I've been to a couple and for those who would like to explore this topic further, these forums/workshops may be a good place to start.

[Andrea]

I've been thinking about this since I read your post yesterday. So here I go with my nearly 100% ignorant reply (ignorant as in "not very well educated," not as in "intentionally stupid"):

I think the colour-blind response happens primarily because white people become uncomfortable when they realize that they "notice" non-whiteness but they don't "notice" whiteness. If I see a pretty white girl in a nice flowered shirt, I'll likely refer to her as "the girl in the flowered shirt." If I am totally ignorant of racial bias or history, I might refer to a black girl as "the black girl in the flowered shirt." If I've become aware of racism and I know it's wrong and I'm uncomfortable with myself for "noticing" non-whiteness but not "noticing" whiteness, I'll probably try to correct it by pretending not to notice non-whiteness.

I don't know if that makes sense, but looking back at the colour-blind phase of my life (and to some extent it's still ongoing, as unlearning racism is a complex and lifelong activity, in my case anyway), I think that's where my head was at. a) I didn't notice or comment on whiteness. b) It's wrong to treat different races differentlcy. c) Everyone should be treated the way white people are. d) This means I shouldn't notice or comment on non-whiteness.

I think the problem of this thought progression (and you highlighted it nicely, but differently, in your post) is that it assumes that the problematic portion is that non-white people aren't being treated the way white people are--and NOT that white people aren't being treated the way non-white people are. So it ends up reinscribing white privilege and is totally ridiculous, since of course I can see the colour of someone's skin, and it's usually very attractive, and it doesn't make sense to pretend that I can't or don't.

So now instead of being "colour-blind" I am trying to teach myself to see whiteness in the same way as I see non-whiteness. Part of white privilege is that it's considered to be the normal, default human colour, and thus not worth noticing or remarking on. And I feel like I can do my bit to take down a bit of white privilege by seeing it NOT as normal or default, but as another spot on the continuum of human diversity--and worth noticing and remarking on. As *visible.*

I don't know if that makes sense or if I'm just fucking up in a totally new and just as racist way, but it's my new stop on the unlearning-racism journey.

[moonbatty]

Colorblind, for me, means that I make note of the race on the same level that I make note of hair color, eye color, height, etc. So I have no problem saying "The little black girl toward the end"

To me, "colorblind" means I don't say "the little black girl toward the end who will quite obviously be an axe murderer because of the /color of her skin/ which, you know, is a great indicator of future axe-murdering."

That's how colorblind should be. Not the whole "I SEE NO COLOR" (get a pair of glasses, fool.) but "I see color, but I don't entertain the idiotic stereotypes commonly associated with color."

Yes, if there's one little black girl in a field of whites, pinks, yellows, greens, reds, and polka-dotteds, it's perfectly wonderfully acceptable to pick up on the most obvious characteristic with which to point her out. To not do so means you're not colorblind. You're taking the most obvious characteristic and refusing to use it as an identifying factor because you feel that there are negatives related to skin color. (Which there are, but I don't think that merely refusing to make note of color actually does away with the negative ideas about it. It reinforces it. Like saying "Don't think of an elephant" makes large pink polka-dotted elephants prance about in your head.)

Besides, it's terrifically insensitive to those that are actually colorblind. ;)

[Jo]

As a Native American in Utah, there are few things I detest more than when caucasian people, (not all of them) say, "oh you don't look Native American to me" How am I supposed to take that? Is that a compliment or an insult? Does that somehow remove from me the "stain" of being brown? The history? The pain? The guilt? I still don't get it and it offends me deeply. It is interesting to note that this never happened when we lived in CA where it must be more acceptable to inquire about ethnicity. It has only happened since we moved to Utah. I will not miss this statment when we leave the state next year.

[Moonbatty]

Jo- not sure if you come back to read comments or not, but thought I'd address the "You don't look Native American" thing here anyway, since it's an interesting line of thought.

I don't think it's quite meant as an insult or a compliment.

People tell me "you don't look deaf", and my first thought is "Jeez, that's stupid, what does 'deaf' look like?" But I realize that it's totally not about me, it's about them- their surprise, their perceptions, and the fact that you don't fit into the stereotypes (very few people do.) I think that the vast majority of people that say "you don't look.." are just expressing casual and un-thinking surprise. "Huh. I didn't think it was sunny out."

[Christine]

We are a transracial family. One of our children is black, and the other two are Caucasian. We are also foster parents to babies waiting to be placed in their adoptive homes (not babies removed by the state, but domestic adoptions where the child is waiting simply because they are not Caucasian).

For us, we were not even color blind when we were starting the adoption process. We specifically requested a child of color. So, when you add that to the knowledge that many of these children ARE waiting ... it was a no-brainer for us.

Our agency does not reduce fees based on color, but will made deductions or offer payment plans for children who are waiting. They do whatever they can to get these children with their forever family, and not wait one more day (it would have taken us many months to raise all of the money - and they placed our daughter and allowed us to pay out our portion). In our case, by the time we finished our training and were ready to roll with the program, our daughter had already been waiting in foster care for seven months. Another little girl had been waiting a year!

We thoroughly researched adopting from Haiti in the beginning. For multiple reasons, we never did find our "fit." We are in a fully open adoption with our daughter. We not only embrace her ethnicity, but we also embrace her birth parents and extended birth family. We see them a few times a year and speak often.

We talk openly about our daughter's skin color, as we find that most people are too afraid to talk about her - for fear of saying something that's not politically correct! So, we try to put everyone at ease. We don't get offended by those who are simply trying to show their interest in how we grew our family - yet maybe they don't know correct "adoption language." Americans do fret over whether to say "black" or "African American," etc. We use many terms interchangebly. Even among people of color, you will find different niches of people preferring different terminology.

I could go on and on, but I'll stop here. Good discussion!

[Christine]

One more thing:

MY COW - you have a beautiful family!

[Karen]

Damn -- I responded to this on the post that Mar commented on, without realizing that you guys had done an entire post on it here!

I wasn't born in America, although I lived a little more than half my life there (in Texas), primarily. I was born in Trinidad, an island in the Caribbean, that is the most multiracial place I've ever known. I myself, am very multiracial -- I have a Chinese grandmother and an Indian grandmother -- which makes me 1/2 black, 1/4 Chinese, and 1/4 Indian -- although I look black, so my reality is as a black woman.

When I first came to the States, the highly charged racial atmosphere was very strange to me -- while there are many races represented in Trinidad, there's so much interracial mingling that it's never an issue. For example, you would never fill out an official form in Trinidad asking you for your race -- it just doesn't happen, it doesn't matter, and frankly, no one would know what to put down anyway! And now that we've returned to Trinidad, it dawns on me that all of our friends who are in relationships are in interracial relationships -- that's just the way it is.

All this to say that in Trinidad, "colourblind" works -- but only because that's alway the way it's been, you know? I'm not sure that it would work in the United States -- at this point in time, anyway. I think, in America anyway, there needs to be a point where everyone values the diversity of each race, and really celebrate it, before it can even *think* about becoming colourblind.

My $0.02!